


Love and madness

by Hanavia



Category: Original Work
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Domestic, Established Relationship, F/F, Family Bonding, Femslash, Flirting, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Porn With Plot, Rebel Chrome Heart, Sappy Ending, Sexual Tension, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 06:11:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20148958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanavia/pseuds/Hanavia
Summary: Sara was not wrong. Love and madness had one thing in common; they both were beyond the rational mind's grasp.





	Love and madness

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Liebe und Wahnsinn](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/505219) by Riley Valentino. 

Exhausted, I leaned against the door of my apartment. Norman was a slaver. He insisted that I spend the breaks doing my laps in the park. This was time to relax, but my lungs were exhausted. My legs didn't want to carry me a meter anymore; the elevator had also broken down. I was sweating all over my body and my face was burning. I just wanted to take a shower. With a noisy bang I dropped the key on the drawer. It was dark in our apartment. Sara didn't seem to be at home, which was strange, because she was always waiting for me in the living room after the late shift. 

My eyes wandered to the calendar in the dining room. In curved writing I read "Christmas Party" in her tab of the calendar. I had completely forgotten, admittedly. My feet hurt and I was tempted to just throw myself on the couch, but probably I would have merged with it. I didn't want to mess up the leather and dragged myself into the bathroom. 

Since I was alone, I didn't bother at all to lock up. I got rid of my clothes and turned up the shower. The initially cool water hit my sweaty forearms and I backed out of the shower. I opened my ponytail and carelessly threw the bra into the sink. Bending down after my panties turned out to be more difficult. My whole body rebelled against the movement. I didn't like sports at the academy, but at that time I had been much more athletic. Now I felt every muscle in my body. I hated Norman for it. 

I jumped into the shower and was glad that I could just let the water run in my face. It was now warm and felt even better on my skin than the cool refreshment before. 

I took my time soaping because I felt life come back into my body. I threw my head back and washed the shampoo out of my hair. I noticed a movement in the corner of my eye that made me jump.

"Ah, it's you." The concern that Vincento or Jake might burst in unexpectedly, I should have included, but before the shower I couldn't care less. 

"It's just me", Sara was whistling. "How nice." She closed the door behind her and stepped into the bathroom. Her eyes fell on the clothes that were tumbling on the floor. "Did you have a hard time? They are... wet." 

"Norman let me run extra laps. It's like I'm his puppy and I need some exercise." The enthusiasm resonated in my voice. 

"Don't be so silly," Sara laughed at me. "I really like your ass a lot, but if the extra units could save your life, I'm all for it." 

"Wow, now I feel even worse. Am I the only one who thinks that's totally pointless," I whispered. I turned off the water and we continued discussing at a moderate volume. I reached for the towel and dabbed my face off. 

"I'm just saying. You are perfect the way you are. But a little chase through Diffort shouldn't let you half collapse." There it was, this story that made me angry. That had happened once in the last few months. Nobody let me forget it. Not Norman, not Olivia from the other squad and now not even Sara. Saying I was pissed was the understatement of the century. 

"My God," I hissed and gave my girlfriend the most deadly look I was capable of. "That really happened... once. My stamina is flawless and you know it." 

"Oh, really? I think you have to show me that again..." I didn't miss the lewd undertone in her voice, but I wasn't in the mood for it. 

"Forget about that! First you make fun of me and then you expect a reward for it!" Not to mention that my muscles still felt lead-heavy. 

"That's no reward for me," Sara defended herself decisively. "I was rather thinking of one for you. You're holding on to Norman's tough program without strangling anyone. That's... pretty cool for you. I think you deserve it." She reached for my arm although I was still dripping wet. 

I shook my head grinning. "You're hopeless." Her words seemed sweet in my mind, even though I certainly didn't feel like having sex now. "Maybe tomorrow?"

"I thought more of... now." She got to grab the towel and put it around me. "I just help you with it, and then... let's see..." I didn't have the strength to fight it. My legs trembled noticeably at the effort of the day, which Sara seemed to notice. "Maybe we'll move it to a more... suitable place?"

We were about the same size, but she still had the lascivious look from below. She nibbled playfully on her lower lip and let the towel glide gently over my back. "So?

I placed an innocent kiss on her lips and breathed demonstratively: "I'm really done..."

"You don't have to do anything, I promise." She grabbed the towel on both sides and rubbed it over my ass. "You lean back and relax a little." 

She squatted and began to dry my legs. I was admittedly not in the mood. But as she squatted in front of me and I saw with how much devotion she gave to my body, a certain part of my body decided that this conversation really had to be moved somewhere else. "I think... maybe there' s something we can do." Before I said it, I felt one of her hands slip between my legs and gently but surely between my labia.

"Very good."

I was tempted to grab her hand to remind her that the shared bathroom might not have been a good place for such a hanky-panky, but she paused after finding the spot. Like she was just teasing me. "I just wanted to make sure you didn't change your mind when I toss you on that bed." 

"W-what?" I was about to ask her what she meant when she pushed her body against mine and let me hover effortlessly over the floor. Well, not effortlessly, a little "hoof", she couldn't hold back. I hit her on the shoulder protesting. Not only did I drip her and the floor wet, I was also bothered that she wanted to carry me. "Stop it, I'm heavy!

"You're a lightweight," replied Sara, who visibly had to make an effort to carry me over the threshold. With my bare ass ahead. A lucky thing that my little brother spent the night with a classmate today. Jake and his girlfriend Amy had the pleasure of seeing me naked, even if I didn't want to. Finally I wobbled so much that Sara had to let me down. "You're demanding, but certainly not heavy." 

I pushed Sara away from me so she wouldn't get any strange ideas again. "Go ahead, I'll be right behind you," I asked her, "make it a bit comfortable for us, shake the bed up or something."

Sara raised an eyebrow asking. "What is it, you have to shave first," she teased me. 

"I thought more about brushing my teeth and collecting my clothes. I pinched her cheek. "When I get to bed, you'd better be already completely naked." I didn't have to tell Sara that a second time. She giggled and danced happily around me. 

"If you don't come, I'll go on without you," she warned me. 

I rolled my eyes and gave her a scolding glance. 

In fact, a little more vitality had returned to my body. The chance of sex seemed to cheer my body up. Since I became a sergeant and Sara took her job as a bartender at Fruitys, we didn't have so many evenings a week. Quite in contrast to our student days, where we spent every free minute together. So I was looking forward to our time together after all. Maybe it was good that we had a storm-free time for the first time in a long while. 

I hurried to the bathroom and hushed like God had made me into my bedroom, where Sara was already waiting for me. "Hm, there is a beautiful woman lying in my bed", I commented on the sight of her in black lace lingerie. Now I was glad that I had freshened up a bit. 

"Oh dear, if only your girlfriend knew."

I couldn't resist a giggle and hurried into bed with her, also because it was a bit cold. She readily draped the blanket. "How is the sore muscle?" she breathed into my ear and stroked some hair behind it. 

"I'll probably have it tomorrow." Tenderly I framed her face with my fingers. Suddenly I was glad that Sara had remained stubborn. We met halfway and kissed. Her hands were buried in my still wet hair; mine joined together in her neck. I was eager to touch her, and had to slow down if I didn't want to rush. 

I wanted to enjoy what we had. She involved me in a passionate kiss and I was sure that I was not the only one who was holding back. Her hands wandered from my hair to my shoulders. I felt her nipples through her lace bra. From her body came a heat that seemed to pass to me. The panting that came over her lips as we separated sent a comforting shiver through my body. 

Only reluctantly I brought some distance between us. These entertaining touches made me lose my mind. Maybe the last time had been too long-ago. 

She leaned forward to caress my neck with her lips and her stocking breath on my skin left a pleasant tingling sensation. She knew my weak points. With pleasure I threw my head back. My fingers moved over her shoulders, pushing down the straps of her bra. 

We didn't need words. Through her fiery kisses, her hands that seemed to be all over my body and the distance that kept decreasing, we both knew how badly we needed this. My tiredness was swept away. 

"I love you," Sara whispered against my collarbone. 

And how I loved this woman! I returned her words and closed my fingers in her neck. Meanwhile I squatted over her, her legs between mine. She buried her face in my bosom and began to suck on the sensitive skin. Inevitably my body snuggled up to her. The tingling in my lap intensified only at the thought of my reward. Sara didn't let me doubt for a second how much she enjoyed all this herself. 

My heart was beating wildly in my chest; I was sure she could feel it beating. Her fingers wandered across my sides to my back. In a flowing movement she pulled me closer to her, so that not even a sheet of paper could fit between us. She looked up at me; wild lust in her eyes as I snuggled up to her. " So life has come to you," she whispered with a grin. 

"Someone had good arguments," I returned with a smile. My body moved as if by itself when her hands explored it. It was as natural as breathing and sleeping. Sara circled my left nipple with her tongue and left it there, knowing in the meantime how little it excited me. Instead, she briefly devoted herself to the other and made room for her face between my breasts to leave feather-light kisses on my skin.

Although I was just taking a shower, our little rendezvous made me sweat again. The gasping that came over my lips also encouraged Sara to let her hands wander over the rump to my butt. I felt the grin as short breaths on my skin. I knelt over her hip and Sara sat up a bit, so that she was now with her lips at the level of my belly button. 

My breath faltered, I was so excited. Sara was good at irritating me and slowly pulling me to climax. I was good at keeping her from her original plan. 

Gently I pushed her back into the pillows and softly pushed her legs further apart with my knee. I didn't let her out of my sight. She licked herself over the lip and watched me make myself comfortable between her legs. Above the waistband of her panties was the writing "Cuando el amor no es locura, no es amor", which stood for the Spanish expression "If love is not madness, it is not love". She had started a real quarrel with her parents when they discovered the tattoo. It stood for freedom, love and passion. 

I slipped flat on the bed and Sara leaned her calves left and right against my shoulder so that I had enough room for manoeuvre. In this position, where she lay slightly leaned back into the pillows and her butt was slightly raised by a pillow, nothing really remained hidden from me. The thin panties might have covered her venus hill, but the rest lay moist and lustrous in front of me. I knew she expected me to spoil her with my tongue right now. Sara was... impatient. But I took my time and leaned my hot cheek against her relatively cool thighs. All the blood was just probably in another place in her body... 

I began to apply gentle kisses to the sensitive skin of her thighs and felt her squeeze her thighs nervously. Unintentionally. She gently lifted her ass, another sign of impatience. 

She was a little sadist; she loved to torture me and to stall. Would postpone my climax for hours if I didn't stop her. But she didn't have much willpower herself. "Liz," she gasped. A first warning, we hadn't even reached the main menu yet. 

I chuckled satisfied before me. Sucked innocently and cheekily on her thighs. Left a hickey, which she would have something of tomorrow. Nervously her hand wandered over my head. A silent order. In the meantime she had continued to slide unsettled in my direction. Her belly raised and lowered excitedly, her hand caressed my head almost lovingly. "Come on, Liz."

Her body trembled as I approached her body. Instead of taking off her panties, I pressed my nose into her pubic mound and let my lips wander over the fabric. A gentle suck over the thin fabric was enough to make her growl in frustration.

"Hm," I just did, innocent. One of my hands wandered over her thigh, with the other I pulled her panties up. A stubborn curl fell in my face and I looked up for a moment. Luckily there was a hair tie on the bedside table. Before I could grab it, Sara seemed to know already what had distracted me.

She grabbed my curls as best she could and turned to tie them into a messy ponytail that would serve its purpose. This gesture alone showed me how close she was to just press her private parts into my face. This time, as I lowered my face between her legs, she met me a bit with her hip. 

I let my thumb run over a spot where I suspected her sweet spot. Although we both had the same equipment, it wasn't quite as easy as it was shown in porn. It wasn't enough to just move one hand and bang, there it was. On the contrary. With all the patience I could afford - after all it made me totally horny myself how Sara was looking forward to me - I rubbed over different parts of her panties, only to find my head exactly between her legs the next moment. A reassuring sign that the search was successful. "Yes, right there," she sighed and lifted her hips again. 

Patience was a foreign word to her. And I loved her for it. I rubbed the spot for a few seconds with my index and middle finger and then breathed hot and cold air onto her clit. The fabric that lay between us drove her crazy, I knew that. Nevertheless I encircled her most sensitive spot with my lips and began to suck through the fabric. This time both hands got lost in my hair. 

"Nene, más rápido," she purred like a kitten. She seldom got lost in her native language, but the excited Spanish words that came over her lips made me very hot myself. She looked lasciviously down at me. Words on her lips that even I could not translate. 

I leaned forward and pressed my nose against her shame. Her fingers wandered through my hair. "Elisabetta", she wheezed and arched her body towards me. I kissed her thighs and rubbed my lips against her vulva. My fingertips danced over her sensitive skin and she giggled. 

"I love you", I reminded her, looked up at her. Drunk with lust she looked down on me and caressed my face. She framed it with her nimble, lovely fingers and looked at me for a while before she pressed her lips on mine. I began to suck on her lips and pulled Sara towards me. Let my arms wander over her naked body. Her hair tickled me in the bends of her arms and only reluctantly closed her eyes.

At that moment I had the feeling that the love for this woman filled me completely. My body loved her. I loved every movement, every reaction. I could have drowned in these emotions if something hadn' t disrupted this oneness. The voice of my brother. 

Sara felt that I was cramping even before I became aware of it. Her arms got caught in my neck and she sighed, "Please, just a moment." I was willing to grant her this request, but then the sound of the door opening made me startle and reach for the ceiling. 

"Sorell-"

The words died on his lips. 

So much for having a sleepover with a buddy. 

The sight of my bare butt made him stare at the ceiling of the room in shame, but he had no decency to leave the room. "Wow. I'm out of the house for one night, and that. How was the 'no bros' rule? Do we need a 'no hoes' rule? He was at this disgusting age of tender sixteen, in which he thoughtlessly put such tasteless words into his mouth.

"Wait outside," I told him through the cover. I had the feeling that all eroticism had just vanished. Sara seemed to think the same.

She sighed and pulled the blanket off my head as soon as my younger brother had left the room. 

I broke away from Sara and was suddenly very happy that she had tied my hair to a plait. At least I hadn't nibbled on my own hair while I was hiding. "I'm sorry." Feelings of guilt started to spread. We didn't have much time for each other. 

"That's all right. I just want to slowly pull the skin off his body..." I didn't feel that she was actually serious about those words. We had really not had the time for each other in the past months that we had been aiming for. I could understand why she sounded so upset. Every time it was the same. We were keen on each other, and there was always a reason to interrupt making out. Whether it was her work or mine. Or my brother.

"Will we see each other this weekend?" I asked. It was clear to both of us that nothing would happen today. 

"Maybe. I probably have a shift. How about Monday?" 

In my mind I went through my schedule. "I have late. Maybe the weekend?" 

I felt her breathe a deep sigh of relief, after all I was lying on top of her. I knew what was haunting her head. And I bit my lower lip when I realized that I was right. 

"You know ... that we could have it easier? What if we finally moved in together?" 

The tiresome old topic. 

I didn't know how many times I had told her that I wasn't ready for such a step. She acted as if I was getting in line. One reason why I even less wanted to answer. I avoided eye contact and she rolled away under my body. Her reaction spoke volumes. She had to bring distance between the two of us.

Although I had sworn not to do it anymore because I poured gasoline into the fire, I thought about alternatives. "Maybe you want to stay with me? On the weekend? 

She was annoyed and clicked her tongue, apparently she was anything but satisfied. 

"So we can get interrupted again by Jake and Vince?" She fished for her top and pulled it over her head, annoyed. "I'm just sick of it. It's okay that you're not ready yet," she gesticulated back and forth between us, "because of this. But that we are at the mercy of the tyranny of your brother and Jake ... is not possible. It's the same every time and none of us are really in privacy because we still live like students in fucking shared flats instead of finally going one step further like everyone else our age." She gave me a devastating look over my shoulder and then suddenly her mood changed even more. "I'm totally horny and just want to fuck again properly." If she was angry, she took no leaf before the mouth. "Wild rumknutschen, which also ends sometimes in the fact that someone fucks me properly. Sure, I can get that somewhere else, but I want to see your face!" 

It was as if there was no stopping and she unloaded all her piled up frustration at that moment. We had argued before about our housing situation, but the outcome was always the same. 

I hoped that Vince wouldn't listen. "I'm sorry." I don't know how many times I'd said that by now. Someday she would start tossing things at me. And I wouldn't even blame her. "Ti amo, Sara", I mumbled reconciliatory.

"Fuck you and your 'I love you'." She pulled on her jeans, fought with the tight fabric and stumbled towards the room door. 

I panicked and crawled out of bed to stop her, but then Sara held on with the door handle in her hand. "Why all this? Why are you so ..." She didn't bother to gesticulate angrily with her hands like usual. A sign of her disappointment. Then it became quiet in the room; she seemed to think. "Do you know what? Fuck it! This really is the very last time. I can't wait forever. If you want to stay here, our paths will inevitably separate."    
  


I was silent. I simply didn't know how to answer and suddenly felt so, so exhausted. There were good reasons to stay here. Reasons she would never understand. Our lives were so different; the only bridge - our love. But maybe that wasn't enough. So much remained unsaid this time.

She took my silence as a rejection because she opened the door, waltzed out of the room and threw the door crashing into the lock. I felt naked and vulnerable; sneaked back into my bed to bury myself in it. I imagined that my bed still smelled of her and that this scent dared to pierce my mind. She already had a place in my heart; I loved her like crazy. Why did she always want to go one step further than I was ready?

I couldn't give up this apartment. Papà had left it to me and Vincento after his death. It was the only thing I would never give up. Not even for her. Maybe it was time to tell her.

Maybe I had to put the bitter truth into words before we both went mad? 

A timid knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts. I knew Vincento wouldn't let the whole thing go because he had probably heard every word.

"Wait, I'll put something on," I whispered through the door. I fished for the nightgown under my pillow without motivation and put it on. My body had long since calmed down. "Come in, Fratello!" 

As if he had only waited for it, his worried face pushed itself into the door. "Sorry. That was really not that cool by me.

"Understanding is the first way to recovery ", I sighed. 

"Are you arguing about me," he asked carefully. His voice was lowered, like his head. "May I come in?" He actually seemed as depressed as he sounded.

I knocked forgivingly next to myself on the bed and then embraced my angled legs. Maybe it was wrong for me to drag him into it, but I actually felt the need to talk to someone who understood why I couldn't just do what pretty much everyone at my age did.

"Sara and I have been arguing every week anyway. You just chose an awkward time." It wasn't a lie, but I was too exhausted for the whole truth. And I didn't want to burden it on my little brother either. Papà wouldn't have wanted that, would he? 

Vincento made himself comfortable next to me on the bed and we both stared at the opposite wall. "Thank you for staying. I know it's not easy-"

I had to interrupt my little brother. "It is actually very easy. He made this life possible for us here and who am I to turn against his great plans?"

"Is that really why you don't want to move in with Sara?" I felt strangely caught and nibbled on my lower lip, avoiding his haunting side glance. "I didn't want to listen ... but Sara was very upset." 

"That is no topic for you. You should really bother with other things. Why aren't you with your pal," I tried to redirect the subject, unsuccessfully. 

"You are distracting," he growled suddenly. "I may come to you with my problems, but you try to bear your burden all by yourself. I may not be of legal age yet, but you have to admit that I am ahead of others at my age!" He seemed hurt that I didn't dare to talk to him about my problems, but I couldn't explain it. Couldn't put into words why it was so difficult for me to open myself completely. It was a general problem, not just with him. 

"I love Sara, but she expects us to move in together and Papà isn't the only reason I don't want to. Of course he plays a big role. How could I trample on what he left us after his death?" With my arms gesticulating, I sat up. In fact, I had found a thread in this confused tangle to explain my aversion to Sara's plans. "I keep hearing from others that they fall in love, move in together and have children. I'm really happy for them, I am! But I don't feel the need to follow them. What if I argue with Sara and there is no place to go and retreat?" 

"You always have this very place," Vincento muttered. "This room here is forever your safe haven." 

"And if I move out, what is the next step? Adopt children?" I couldn't stop the flow of thoughts at all. "If I agree to move in with her, the next possible step is to adopt a child. But I sometimes have one of the most dangerous jobs you can have. I'm a police officer and would take responsibility for a creature that could potentially lose its mother at some point. The chance would be considerably higher than in many other professions." 

"You could get run over by a train tomorrow," Vincento replied, who was clearly too smart for his age. "Or fight cancer for a year and still lose to it. Or ..." Don't say the word, I sent mute prayers to the Lord. I already felt like crying. He took a short break, as if he would look at me and see that I only with much effort held back the tears. "Or you tell her why you can't. You tell her so she doesn't waste her time investing in a relationship that will sooner or later fail no matter what she does. You've already made that decision." Vincento cleared his throat.

"I feel like you're speaking from experience." 

"That's a topic for another evening." He kissed me on the cheek and then embraced me. "Tell her how you feel. Tomorrow. I guarantee you that there will be someone in this world who is made for you and for whom you don't have to pretend. Like Mom and Dad, perhaps less tragic. Today, ten years from now, you will surely wake up at the side of the person who loves you and accepts you as you are."

I returned his embrace. The thought was indeed beautiful. And perhaps this conversation was urgently overdue. "How can you on the one hand be such an unreasonable child's head and yet so clever?

"It's in the family. Sometimes a change of perspective is enough".

He wasn't wrong. It was only fair to Sara not to keep everything for me anymore, even though I suspected that this conversation wouldn't be nice. We were both too hot-headed on this point to make sensible decisions. But I would hold on to that moment which seemed so clear to me and was full of hope for a future like my Papà would have wished for me. As I tried to free myself from Vince, I felt the soreness of my muscles that was now conquering my body with full force. It was crazy what these love hormones could bring down. I was too tired to defend myself when Vincento pulled the blanket over us and took me in his arms again. 

Sara was not wrong. Love and madness had one thing in common; they both were beyond the rational mind's grasp.

  
  



End file.
